I’ve been on a confidence high for a few weeks now. After running a couple races, getting a hair cut and a new job (not in that order) I have had a lot to feel really great about. I even had myself believing this great feeling was my “new normal”. Of course I am happy about all of those things. But as we all know, we can’t just float up there in the clouds forever. There is work to be done, meals to be prepared and lives to live. Naturally, the descent back into the realm of everyday living can be a rocky one.
Feeling a little lower than my new normal, I started doubting myself and asking the tired questions we all ask when we aren’t sleeping well or have too much to think about. My husband lovingly pointed out how ridiculous I am and now I am listening to Christmas music bound and determined to get my groove back or whatever. Baby steps?
Some days are high and other days, not so much. How many articles and books have you read about that very topic? We are addicts, every last one of us, wanting only highs and fearing our personal worst when the lows come. But the lows aren’t really all that low are they? I am not talking about serious hardship like health issues and real pain. I’m referring to the general ebb and flow of life. If you are like me and have a flair for the dramatic, things can really escalate quickly.
The days we wake up on the wrong side of the bed are just hard. But if we can just be ok with hard instead of letting it transform into some weird “something is wrong” line of thinking, we’d be much better off. Hard is not wrong. It’s just hard.
And then it’s not.
I learn this each hard day I have as a mother. It’s so tempting to think I am doing it wrong or at least far worse than anyone else. I have crazy ideals and dreams and when they don’t go as planned I get frustrated. That’s where the grace comes in. That’s where trust comes in. I keep going and I accept grace and give grace. I learn and find beauty in these moments of weakness.