Coming Home {a week of thanksgiving}

I have high hopes for this week. I hope that I will truly take the time to quiet myself and reflect on the past year. The good things, the hard things, the simple things. As a mom, days are long, but they FLY by. Thoughts leap in and out of my head at warp speed and I can barely fall asleep at night unless I am so physically tired that I just crash (which is often the case).

I was once very meditative. I could sit quietly and pray or read or draw. These days it seems I am surrounded by words, by information and ideas. This is usually a good thing. I am learning, creating, and growing.

But it’s turned me into a pretty lousy listener.

This week, I am going to listen. I am going to listen to my heart, and to my family and to my life and my Lord. I am going to remember the times when I was helped and not just hurt. I am going to be honest.

To start off my week of Thanksgiving, I have to start by remembering and being thankful for how I got all the way to 2011 and to this life as a wife, mother and friend.

Recently, when I was feeling resentful about my role as a wife and mother and taking out my frustrations on my husband, I began to remember what my life might have been like if I hadn’t moved to North Carolina almost 14 years ago. You see, I was married and divorced as a teenager. Had I stayed in my hometown and in that negative relationship, I would not have one bit of the life I now treasure. It’s a coming of age story that many people can relate to even if the details of their own stories are different.

The truth is, those days shredded my soul, yet I am thankful for what I learned. I harbor no malice or anger toward anyone from that life. Because when I faced an impossible situation at such a young age, I learned how to keep going when I felt dead, to love when I couldn’t love anymore, to learn how to appreciate even the smallest kernel of hope in each day.

So here I am in my home that I share with my two sons (who are asleep in their rooms) and my husband who resting after a full day. It’s late and the house smells like homemade soup and carpet freshener. It’s in this moment that I could get lost in my to-do list or instead take a few minutes to reflect. I remember the nights that I sobbed myself to sleep praying for this exact life. Hoping and knowing that one day it would be my turn to be loved and to be needed. I knew there would be some days that were harder than others and that is true. But I am so very thankful that I am busy living and teaching and creating and loving and cooking and cleaning and playing.

Today I am thankful for walking away. Because I know now that I wasn’t just walking away, I was finding my way home.

This post is part of {a week of thanksgiving}, the week long series dedicated to giving thanks. Topics can be anything from the super-serious to light-hearted and fun. If you wish to join in, feel free to use my thanksgiving writing prompts or freestyle. Then just link up your post each day and read another one or two. This is going to be good.

Thanks so much for reading!


  1. says

    Thank you for sharing this! I am always in awe of how unbearable situations can turn into a blessing. If you had not come to NC, we would have never met. I don’t think I could handle that!!


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