Oh Yeah? Well Your Love Language is Stupid

You’ve heard of the 5 love languages right? The concept is really fascinating to me and while I haven’t read the book, I often think about my “love language” or the way to my heart. Earlier this week, I was thinking about how people relate to each other. Maybe it’s a marriage relationship, or a friendship or even family, but we all have love languages and it’s hard sometimes…SO hard to respect them.

Have you ever found yourself thinking, Your love language is stupid! I shouldn’t have to do that!

I know I have.

What’s funny is that thought kinda defeats the whole concept doesn’t it? The point of a love language in the first place is to listen to another person and what really makes them happy or blessed and to do that thing even if you don’t really understand it. And by the way, this is not some veiled message to anyone, I just started thinking about it and got on a roll 😉

So it made me wonder. How much are we really listening to each other? We love to talk it out and get our thoughts out of our brains. But once that has happened, do we then take the time to fill that space with how to help other’s needs? Or, are we quick to fill the space with more of our own thoughts? I can say without a doubt that I am severely guilty of the latter.

On the rare occasions though, when I have actually decided that stupid or not, I wanted to respect someone’s love language and bless them, it was amazing! They felt respected, I felt encouraged and honestly free from selfishness even if for a moment.

My love language is words of affirmation. Surprise surprise right? And I don’t mean it was first on the list. It was FAR and AWAY the top one for me. And here I am blogging and checking comments and feeling all Sally Fields every time someone “likes” me on facebook or retweets something I said. But you know what? My love language is NOT stupid and neither is yours. Instead of wondering why we are the way we are, wouldn’t it be great if we just listened to each other?

So tell me, what can I do to bless YOU today?



  1. says

    Well said Andrea, well said. You have a witty way with words friend :-).
    I’m always trying to listen more than I talk but sometimes I feel as though I have two mouths and only one ear because I can be so outta whack! Yeah, i think my love language is all of them….:-)
    Shayla @Courageous Hope´s last blog post ..The School of Love

  2. says

    Mine is a clear “Physical Touch” followed closely by “Words of Affirmation”. I have to say that is absolutely true when it comes to my husband or kids, but as far as anyone else is concerned, touch drops way to the bottom (I’m SO not a huggy/touchy person outside of my immediate family) and words moves right to the top :)
    Angie´s last blog post ..Our Friendly Neighborhood Pool May 2010

  3. says

    Andrea, this cracked me up! I’m TOTALLY guilty of thinking “that’s stupid!” in my head, though I would rarely come out and say it. :) My husband and I took a class on the 5 Love Languages about four years ago, and it’s really helped us understand each other, even if we still have difficult “speaking” each other’s language. Mine is Acts of Service (which he rarely has time for) and his is Physical Touch (which I’m often overwhelmed by with kids and pets hanging on me already all through the day). I think we understand that at certain seasons of our life, it’s harder to “speak” those languages as directly as maybe we’ll be able to in other seasons. I love what you say about blessing each other, though, and I need to try to do that more often!
    Stacey @ Tree, Root, and Twig´s last blog post ..An Easy Way to Remove the Stem from or “Hull” a Strawberry

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge