So it’s almost January again. How exactly did THAT happen? I have high hopes for 2013 already though. And that’s not to say 2012 was bad. It was actually a pretty great year. There was growth. And sometimes, growing pains. I realized that I am in this weird mid-30s place where nothing seems exactly right but everything is exactly right. I think it’s the realization that no matter how you imagine yourself to be, you are never really what you imagined. It’s not that you are doing it wrong or poorly, it’s just different than the picture in your mind.
I’m growing a lot though, I think. As a mother and a wife and friend. I am redefining what these roles mean to me and I think 2013 will be the year I finally embrace confidence. In case you didn’t know, I am a card carrying ‘fake-it-til-you-make-it’ gal and while I don’t think I have MADE it, I also don’t think I should say I am faking it either. So I want to humbly acknowledge that I am learning and growing and getting better at some things. As a family, we are getting better at things. I think that’s ok to say that. Better than ok, actually, because it’s pretty dang awesome!
At the beginning of last year, I made a list of professional goals. Now that there are just a few days left in 2012 I can happily (and with my jaw-dropped) say that I have achieved every single goal on my list. For 2013, I will be making a new list and I’ll add a few personal items as well. I don’t know why it took me so long to list my annual goals, but I loved it and I can’t wait to map out next year!
I am trying to come into my own as a grown woman with all these hats. I still don’t quite know how to navigate all this stuff and a lot of the time I am totally winging it. That said, it’s time that I own my abilities and stop feeding off of negativity. This is a huge issue for me. 10 people give me a compliment and one person says something negative. Those 10 compliments immediately lose their weight. Sound familiar? It’s not healthy. And I must find a way to mute that noise. Constructive criticism is good. But only when it is truly constructive.
I am choosing my internal battles. And I am asking for help. I sought counseling when I was pregnant with Calvin, but haven’t been back since his birth. That is changing in 2013 and I am really looking forward to shaking off some of that dust. This year was about professional growth. 2013 will be a time to reconcile the personal and the professional. Clean slates for everyone!
I’m still working on my goals and I will post them next week with a linky for you to share your own if you want to join me. I would love to encourage each other as we start another year full of hope and possibility!