I angry cleaned two bathrooms last night.
I was sitting at the kitchen table so frustrated with myself and unsure of why I couldn’t just GET IT TOGETHER ALREADY. It seems to be a trend among my work from home friends lately. And who knows, maybe it’s not just us. Maybe we are all in this together. I was trying to explain my woes to Jerry this morning and he tried to get it. He did well, but when I saw Erin’s post at A Parenting Production, I sent it right over to him.
This. This is how I feel. All in and all out. A jack of all trades and a master of none. My brain is being put to the limit this week being tested in every area. I am working, writing, mom-ing, calling Doctors and cuddling sick babies, talking to teachers and dealing with emotional issues, packing for conference travel and finalizing a presentation, chatting with friends and making plans but never really feeling entirely in one place at one time.
And then there were the bathrooms. Sad, disgusting, and neglected bathrooms that sat there mocking me. So I cleaned them. I scrubbed. I bitterly wiped counters and mopped floors. And then I went to bed only to be greeted by fitful rest that wasn’t very restful at all.
Well at least the bathrooms are clean now.
And you know? That is something. It really is. I could have gone to bed feeling that way without cleaning the bathrooms but I didn’t. Something got done. And really, when I take a step back from all the whining in my head I can see that something always gets done. Even though I may not always feel successful, I am still moving forward. I am meeting the deadlines and hugging the babies and loving my husband. My emotions don’t have to rule me.
They do most of the time. But they really don’t HAVE to. More often than not, our feelings can’t be trusted.
Sometimes we just need to see some things on paper to realize that everything is going to be ok. Because it will, you know. When I take a step outside my feelings, I begin to see all the wins. Big wins or small, they are all around me. And they’ve been there all along.
Will you share your wins with me? I’ll start.
This week, I …..
- cared for two sick boys with snuggles that were as much for me as for them
- worked my day job
- wrote a note to a friend I’ve been wanting to connect with
- cooked (or purchased) meals for my family
- angry cleaned two bathrooms
- did laundry/packed for a trip
- whined the whole time
I’m a work in progress. But I am still moving and the bathrooms are clean.
That is something. That’s a win.