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The Marriage Marathon

by Andrea Updyke

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The Boston Marathon just began. My brother-in-law, Dean, is there running and for that reason (in addition to last year’s tragedy) I am following the race closer than I normally would. Otherwise, it’s a normal day coming off a normal weekend.

Right now in my house, Oscar is five and Calvin is just 3 months shy of his third birthday. Jerry and I have been married for almost seven years. Our home is lived in with a few piles on the counters and folded laundry on the couch. Last night we had pizza for dinner and chocolate for dessert.

I spent yesterday with a migraine so I took a long nap and a long shower and nursed it with an ice pack. Jerry played Star Wars with Oscar and took him to Lowe’s for a new mole trap. We are living our lives. We are getting by. We are thriving. We love each other well. Some days are exciting, while others are just days. Each of them beautiful in their own way.

hugs

A friend shared this blog post from Glennon Melton the other day and it really helped me relax about this whole love and marriage and parenting thing. I feel like I have been living in panic mode for a while now. Things are good and I panic that they won’t last. Things are bad and I wonder if it will ever end. It’s an ugly cycle and I want to break free. As I read her post, it was a lightbulb moment. Work is good. Work is hard. But we do it, one foot after the other, one breakfast after the other, one goodnight kiss at a time.

Oscar5

A few things I love about Oscar at this age:

  • His Emperor Palpatine impression is SPOT on. It’s so good I can only hope to get it on video one day.
  • That when I ask him to help me with something he usually answers with, “SURE! I would LOVE to help you.”
  • The way he loves his brother and wants to help put him to bed every single night.
  • His vocabulary is ever growing and often hilarious. Like the other day after a time-out when he mumbled, “Umm uhhh…sorry about all that disobeying”
  • He’s exactly who he is supposed to be. What more could I ask for?

Cal2

 Calvin at almost three? Hilarious:

  • When he wants to watch TV he says, “How bout Mickey Mouse er somepin?”
  • Every night and in the morning he still loves to cuddle. He says, “Snnnnnuggle me” and seriously, who can resist?
  • He still has his baby curls!
  • He is starting to tell me he loves me at random times throughout the day. I can’t get enough.
  • He loves to have us draw “C-Calvin” and can spell his name out loud.

Every moment is just one color, one pixel of the great masterpiece. I am so thankful to be here with my family creating our own masterpiece. It’s a beautiful thing. Today, as the Boston Marathon started I was again reminded of the beauty of endurance. As Glennon shares, marriage is just the starting line. Likewise, qualifying for the Boston Marathon is a huge accomplishment. But it only gets you to the starting line. You still have to run the race. You still have to endure and pace yourself. You still have to finish.

I am here. I am running this race and loving my family and tripping over my own feet some of the time. Some days I surpass a personal record and I set new goals. Other days, I am just thankful to have a partner to race with knowing and loving and working together.

It truly is better to run with a friend than to go it alone.

family selfie

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2 comments

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2 comments

erinmktgmama April 21, 2014 - 3:22 pm

Love.

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Lilkidthings April 25, 2014 - 3:59 pm

Thanks friend 🙂

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