I’m all reflecty lately. I’m trying to feel, trying to think and making up words apparently. I guess that is what happens at the end of the year. Or if you’re me, every day of every year. I am a lifetime learner and sometimes it makes life harder. I’m always looking for the lesson, looking to improve on last time, looking to make life more efficient and streamlined. I succeed. I fail. I start all over again.
And then I look up and it’s December.
Oscar is keeping me here in the moment. He is loving all the little traditions I loved growing up; counting down the days til Christmas and anticipating with great wonder, what may lie under the tree with his name on it. I am trying to do too much. I want to stop and slow down and I do for a moment. But only with the promise of catching up later or waking up extra early in the morning.
That is my life right now. And hard as it is, I find it oddly fulfilling. That doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement. There always is. But I am learning (ever the hardest lesson) to cut myself some slack. I know I can’t be all the things every day and it’s ok to choose one thing today and something else tomorrow. Yesterday I didn’t wear makeup. Today, I did but I am walking around in my slippers all day because I can.
Thanksgiving came and went in a blur and I really didn’t take the time to write out the many things I am thankful for. Not all in once place anyway. So right now I am going to do just that.
Sledding on Beech Mountain 2011. Hoping for real snow this year!
In 2013, I am thankful…..
- For a husband with a soft heart who loves me.
- For two sons that can make me so angry I want to scream and then melt my heart with one look in the same minute.
- That Jerry and I both have families who love us unconditionally and would do anything they can to help us if we need it.
- For an amazing church I can call home in a city that I love.
- For my community of friends who have rejoiced in my accomplishments and comforted my heartaches.
- For a home that fits us and allows us to be creative.
- For jobs that sustain us and allow us to bless others.
- For the ability to create and use my words to encourage friends and strangers all over the world.
- For the ability to chase dreams, even when I don’t always catch them.
- Most of all, for the gift of faith in a loving and just God who has been gracious to me in good or bad.
Roan Mountain Christmas 2011. I can’t believe how much they’ve grown!
In a couple weeks, my family will be traveling once again to the Tennessee mountains for some much needed rest. There are no televisions, no phones, and dare I say it, no internet. I can’t wait to disappear into the quiet woods and breathe.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
And get ready to welcome 2014 with open arms.