Spiritually, I think I am good. But today is filled with dread.My body still doesn’t know that I miscarried and so tomorrow I am scheduled to go to the hospital.
On the one hand, I am glad to get this whole event behind us and start the healing process. On the other hand, I never thought I would be having an abortion.
I know I know, it’s different. I didn’t choose it. But I just can’t get the thought out of my mind. I can’t believe I had to talk to a nurse and answer all these questions about my health and what kind of anesthesia they will be using. I also just made the mistake of googling the procedure because being me, I wanted to be sure I knew the risks and well…lets just say I am not interested in knowing anything else at this point.In fact, the less detail I know, the better.
The only surgery I have ever had in my life that wasn’t a dental issue, was Oscar’s birth via c-section. I can’t believe that tomorrow, there will be instruments in my uterus.
Apparently, when my body gets a baby, it wants to keep it in there forever.
I know so many of you have dealt with these feelings and I think there are so many layers. I deal with one and up comes another. If you have it in your heart to share, I could really use some encouragement. You don’t need to comment publicly, but if you have any tips or suggestions for getting through tomorrow, I would love to hear them at andrea at lilkidthings dot com.