I have felt so foolish lately. I can’t seem to get my head on straight and it is bothering me. Oscar got really super sick on Monday night and we were up a lot of the night making sure he stayed hydrated and comfortable. Then Tuesday, I canceled our plans and we just layed low all day. Yesterday, we ventured out to the store but the whole week has been pretty low key. I don’t mind. At least I didn’t think I minded until I woke up this morning and I am all out of whack. Sigh.
I think it’s just one of those days where you question everything. I hate those days. Yet I keep trying to remind myself that we all have them and this too shall pass. Maybe my subconscious is playing a mean April Fools prank on me? Or maybe I just need to stop being foolish and think about what really matters.
Today is Maundy Thursday. A part of the Easter tradition that I have only recently observed with any pomp and circumstance. Growing up, we observed Palm Sunday as a church, and then Resurrection Sunday (that’s Easter to most of you 😉 But the interesting thing about Maundy Thursday is that it was the calm before the storm. Judas’ betrayal, Jesus’ arrest. His prayers, His torment. All of these things happened in the darkness of night, when almost no one was looking. He quietly surrendered to his calling and with prayer and sacrifice, he moved forward. It’s a beautiful thing to ponder. And something that I often miss as a follower of Jesus.
Last night as I started feeling uneasy, I opened my daily devotional to March 31st. It was fitting for me then and even more so in light of Maundy Thursday.
Be Willing and Yielded.
If God is for us, who can be against us? – Romans 8:31
You do not have to depend on your own human efforts to overcome adversity and opposition or to earn favor and win promotion. When God is ready to move in your life, He will give you favor and promotion – and no devil in hell or person on earth will be able to prevent it from happening. It doesn’t matter what people think of you. Your weaknesses and inabilities don’t make any difference to God. His criteria for using people is not their talents, gifts, and abilities, He is looking for people who are willing and yielded. God looks for availability, not ability. Let God build you, your reputation, and your career. When the time is right, He will deliver you out of adversity, and then you’ll see the fulfillment of your dreams.
So much of our lives are lived out in the open that when we do have to retreat for a while to care for a sick baby, or work extra long hours, or simply tend to family matters, I think it’s easy to feel insignificant. It’s at these times that I find myself particularly vulnerable to temptation and selfishness. And I think that is precisely why Maundy Thursday is worthy of a second look. It was in a quiet, insignificant moment that the ultimate sacrifice was made for me. And I am truly thankful.