Home Life Archives Catching my breath

Catching my breath

by Andrea Updyke

Love it? Share it!

This has been some summer. Jerry and I have done more traveling than at any other point in our relationship and it’s exhausting. It’s hard to believe there are only 3 weeks left before Oscar starts preschool. But I have to say that I am really looking forward to being back in a routine.

Personally, this summer has led to some good places for me. I feel more like myself than I have since Calvin was born and generally in a better mental state. We are enjoying each other and learning new things. Oscar is finally potty training (and pretty much trained at this point). Jerry and I are connecting really well and ready to celebrate our 5 year anniversary at the end of the month. In many ways, I feel like we rounded a corner as a family this summer and we are all better for it.

Each little step or change is a breath of fresh air. I am reminded that growing is good and beneficial for my soul. I was feeling particularly low the other day and I opened up the bible app on my phone. This was the passage that awaited me and it couldn’t have come at a better time:

“You have not brought me fragrant calamus or pleased me with the fat from sacrifices. Instead, you have burdened me with your sins and wearied me with your faults. “I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again. Let us review the situation together, and you can present your case to prove your innocence. From the very beginning, your first ancestor sinned against me; all your leaders broke my laws. That is why I have disgraced your priests; I have decreed complete destruction for Jacob and shame for Israel.

But now, listen to me, Jacob my servant, Israel my chosen one. The LORD who made you and helps you says: Do not be afraid, O Jacob, my servant, O dear Israel, my chosen one. For I will pour out water to quench your thirst and to irrigate your parched fields. And I will pour out my Spirit on your descendants, and my blessing on your children. They will thrive like watered grass, like willows on a riverbank.”
Isaiah 43:22-44:4 NLT
Too often I am mired down by my own shortcomings. I compare my life (looks, home, parenting style, etc) to anyone and everyone and ultimately come to the conclusion that I am not enough. I dutifully robe myself in guilt just certain that I am unlovable. And then I come upon a verse like this where God simply says, do you honestly think you are the first person to be selfish? Do you honestly think I am too small to love you?
And so I take off the guilt and I replace it with acceptance. I look around and see my blessings and these sweet faces. I go to bed in a house that we own and sleep on sheets instead of a dirt floor. I prepare food that we purchased and talk with my husband at the end of the day. And I know that I am cared for. And that life is good.

Love it? Share it!

9 comments

You may also like

9 comments

Jean Parks August 13, 2012 - 11:05 am

Andrea, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you, spending time with you. You keep a lovely home, more importantly you’re cultivating a garden of love there. You’ve created a space where your children are free to explore, create & learn, a place where your husband can feel loved & supported. I’d say you are a wealthy woman indeed & you are most certainly good enough, most assuredly loveable!

Reply
Andrea August 13, 2012 - 7:55 pm

Thank you Jean! Your words are so kind and I am so glad we have crossed paths in this space!

Reply
Cheryl August 13, 2012 - 12:12 pm

Thank you for this post! I had a really rough week last week, and needed to read this this morning. Sometimes I think we need to get to that low place to make us stop and take the time to look at who we really are and what is really important in our lives. So happy to have met you last weekend. 🙂

Reply
Andrea August 13, 2012 - 7:55 pm

It was SO good meeting you too! I only wish it had been on the first day instead of the last 🙂

Reply
Haley August 13, 2012 - 5:20 pm

This post is beautiful…I too am AWFUL about comparing myself to others…sometimes to the point where I drag myself into a bit of depression.

Thank you for sharing that verse and reasons why we should all be thankful and know that we are loved.

Reply
Andrea August 13, 2012 - 7:56 pm

Totally with you. We all need that thing to drag us out of the right now into the ‘big picture’ thinking. It’s not easy, but so very helpful!

Reply
Shannon August 13, 2012 - 8:40 pm

You are so loved and blessed! Really love this perspective on acceptance and being enough!

Reply
Leigh Powell Hines @Hinessightblog August 15, 2012 - 3:02 pm

Lovely post.

Reply
Kelly {the Centsible Life} August 15, 2012 - 3:05 pm

THANK YOU. I needed this reminder.

Reply

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.