I love Yoga.
I don’t do it as often as I should or would like to and my core shows it. But what I love about yoga is the breathing. I don’t think we take nearly as many deep breaths as we should. I find myself walking around in and out of days taking shallow frustrated breaths. I think that is because much of the time, I am living a shallow frustrated life.
It’s not that I am not happy. I am happier than I have ever been. I am surrounded by love and family and hope and grace. Yet, I am shallow and frustrated much of the time. A lot of this has to do with my current situation. Who loves being in transition and living out of boxes? But there isn’t a day that goes by without something to complain about. So then, enters the breathing.
I like the practice of focusing on my breaths and shutting out all else. Relaxing and waiting for my head to melt into the floor takes a few minutes, but leads to thankfulness. And my quiet head is filled with images of love and grace and forgiveness. And then it isn’t the yoga at all. It’s the calm. The quiet. The stillness of the stretch.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
And there it is. What I am missing. What I continue to push away, and fast forward, and pause. The reason for all good things. The meaning behind the grace and the calm and the quiet.
And the peace.
Deep breathing only comes when I am still.
I often wonder when people speak of yearning for God. People who desire to know more about Him and follow and grow and seek and share. I sometimes feel like an impostor because if I am honest, so much of the time I don’t feel like I am like that. I don’t see myself longing and yearning. I feel like a lot of the time I am just treading water and trying to keep balance.
I realized when we moved that there is something that I long for. It’s a quiet morning that starts before anyone else wakes. It’s me and my Bible and a cup of coffee.
I thought I was just yearning for quiet time. But what I realized is that this is yearning for more of God. Even in the midst of chaotic transition, He reminds me that what I believe is real. He is still the same. And He isn’t going anywhere.