Today’s post comes from the beautiful Martha who is wise beyond her years. She and her hubby left this city, but they will never leave our hearts! You can find her blogging at Heart of a Fighter.
An older and wiser friend of mine looked me square in the eye and said those words the night before my wedding. Of course I thought she was crazy. My marriage was going to be perfect and full of elaborate meals, vacuuming in high heels, deep conversations, and spontaneous sex in every room of the house.
It’s been four years now and at the two year point, I took an inventory of what our marriage looked like. My marriage was quirky and imperfect. Most nights I scramble to throw together spaghetti, with meat sauce if he’s lucky. I don’t vacuum…. period. We weren’t talking about politics, world problems, but rather how our budget would work out or what television show we wanted to watch. We still had spontaneous sex… oops I said it.
I remember thinking that our marriage was fine and comfortable but I wasn’t working very hard. It showed.
Having a marriage wasn’t hard for us. But I knew we were meant for more than dinner in front of the TV and a “lather, rinse, and repeat” lifestyle.
But you know what I’ve realized about change? It takes a drastic decision with deliberate follow-through. It doesn’t matter if it’s about weight loss or a job change or changing habits in your marriage. We made the decision, together, to work hard. We eat dinner at the dining room table (I thought that thing was for holding our mail and catalogs I never get a chance to look through but keep around, you know, just in case). We talk about current events and what our dreams are; and even better how we can make them happen. I love our home because I put effort into making it a home full of aromas from yummy meals and vacuu… ok, Febreeze. My heart jumps for my husband when he walks in a room because passion has become our third roommate.
What is lacking in your life? Make a decision to change it. Make a plan and stick to it. Make it drastic and dramatic. You’ll love the end results if you keep to it.
Oh, and let me mention I believe in the very being of my soul that you have the capability of changing if you want to. Where’s my pom-pom when I need it?