***photo courtesy of zoutedrop
I have never been good at waiting.
When I was in high school I graduated in 3 years because I didn’t want to be stuck behind everyone else. And when I need something done, I typically can’t stand waiting on someone else to help me do it. Not that I always have that choice. I just don’t feel like it’s one of my strengths.
And now here I sit.
The Doctor said we needed to wait 2 cycles before we could start trying to get pregnant again. Not a mandate, but his opinion. We tend to listen to Doctors and in this case we were particularly gun-shy about all the what ifs so waiting didn’t seem so bad. He said that after the D&E my body would reset and get going again between 2 and 4 weeks. I did the math. It seemed impossibly long.
And then it was five.
We now have one cycle under our belts and the thought of waiting another whole month before we can start trying again is killing me. We have other things going on, and they are just as pressing but it’s there. Always.
I would have been 16 weeks tomorrow and soon finding out the sex of the baby.
But I am not.
Instead I am just…