Lately I have felt like a big giant bump on a log. It’s hard for me to get going, even harder to get motivated to get going, and once I am going I can’t wait to stop going. In my case, objects at rest tend to stay at rest and objects in motion look for the soonest possible place and time to rest.
And it’s frustrating.
I am frustrated, I am sure Jerry is frustrated and while Oscar isn’t frustrated, I can always tell when he had enough physical exertion because he sleeps like a rock.
Yesterday was one of those days. Jerry spent the day pruning decades of overgrowth from the magnolia tree in our front yard and Oscar spent hours outside playing. I was in and out between that and various other projects and we all felt pretty accomplished at the end of the day. What bothers me is how rare it seems these days.
I think there are a lot of contributing factors but over the past few months, it has been really hard for me to bond with this house. I love the house and I want to be here. For MANY years. We are just getting off to a slow start.
Is there such a thing as post-mortgage depression? If so, I think I have it. I mean I don’t want to burn the place down or anything, but the excitement goes a lot more than it comes. It is quite the opposite for Jerry who loves every inch of our new home and wants to do things all the time not just because it needs to get done, but because he wants to.
I want to also, but that’s where it seems to end for me. I would like to think I am just behind the curve because of all the craziness and of course because my body is growing a human 24/7 but it feels like a cop out. Since the break-in we have made several changes and I feel much better and safer. I am just ready for things to be finished. The problem is, I just want to close my eyes and wake up to perfection.
Can I blame this on pregnancy? Or do I need to see a professional?