Jerry has been out of town since Tuesday. It’s been a busy week with Oscar in full days at Kindergarten and Calvin at camp in the mornings. I was able to get some work done and I have to say I did a pretty great job of keeping things going while Daddy’s away. I am exhausted. But hey, we’re doing it!
That said, we miss him. Even with these loud and crazy boys, it’s getting quiet around here. I saw some friends on Thursday and just about talked their heads off, not realizing how little adult interaction I’d had in the past few days.
Trips like this are good for the soul, whether you are the one home or traveling. I’ve definitely done my share of traveling so even though he is in the gorgeous mountains of Washington, I am not the least bit jealous. He needed some real rest and I hope he’s getting it! I didn’t realize how much I needed some space too, but I’ve been soaking it in. Between the boys being gone for part of each day and then going to bed before I do at night, I sure got it! I’m ready to get back to life as usual, but it was a great week.
I’ve been planning our big family vacation for the year, which happens to be at Walt Disney World, and I am beyond excited to spend a week away with my little family to just play. This year has seen the four of us go in many different directions. We’ve done small trips or excursions here and there as a family, but this will be the one that goes in the photo album.
I can’t wait.
I was chatting with a friend recently when I said, “Sometimes I don’t know what I want.” Even as I said it, I wasn’t sure what I was referring to. She told me to figure out what I don’t want and go from there. That made sense to me. I’ve always been one to set a goal and then figure out a way to get there.
What I don’t want is a life that feels contrived or inauthentic. I don’t want to people-please. I do want to be useful and help when I can, but I want it to come from a sincere place and not from pressure that doesn’t make sense. I don’t want to cook every night. I don’t want to take myself too seriously, but seriously enough to get things done. I want to work hard and play hard. I never want to be ungrateful.
2014 has been an amazing year. Our little family of four is a family that has become great friends. We genuinely enjoy being around each other as people, not just because we’re family. Listening to Oscar and Calvin have actual conversations is so much fun (until they turn into arguments) and watching their individual interests develop just makes me smile.
I think the early years are starting to melt away and we are transitioning into the next phase of family and parenting. We’re having real and sometimes difficult conversations, exploring new things and coming back to home base when we need to. I guess in a way, we’re all growing up. Funny how that happens.
For all of my anxiety about Oscar starting Kindergarten, he has embraced it like nothing else. He absolutely loves it and is excited every day to get out the door. This is an enormous contrast from the spring. I think he was so nervous about the unknown that he completely worked himself up each day he was closer to Kindergarten. Now we’re here and he loves it. We’re all so relieved.
There are a lot of big questions out there. I worry about the state of the world and what it all means. I wonder how I can even focus on vacations or lunches or whatever else because so much is heavy right now. I’ve written about that and as I continuously process it, I have to look at the beautiful things. I say thank you for these children. Thank you for this husband. Thank you for the love we get to embrace in each other. I don’t take that for granted.