We were at the gym.
As my belly grows and my energy shrinks, I find myself doing more yoga and swimming, and less elliptical and classes with words like “intense” in the descriptions. It was a fabulous morning, and an even better workout. I even had time to jump into the Gentle Stretch class that was happening as I exited the locker room.
It was a good day.
We maxed out our time though and Oscar was growing hungry. On the way home, as I often do when he is on the edge, we started talking about what he would eat. I would say, how about some yogurt! And he would say ANNNND wubbits (nuggets)! And I would say annnnnd ketchup! And we would go through the list of items over and over until we got home. We were having a great time.
I heard the dog barking as we came up the steps. He is usually barking so I wasn’t alarmed. I noticed through the glass that the closet door was open and I thought, that’s strange, it must not have latched when we got our coats. It wasn’t until I had pushed the door open that I noticed the baby gate in pieces on the floor. Even then, I thought the dog had somehow managed to pry it loose.
When I saw the BB Gun on the couch my heart both jumped and sank at the same time.
We immediately backed out of the house and ran back to the van. I put a screaming (and very hungry) boy back into his carseat and called my husband. He told me to call 911. I never thought I would need to be told to call 911. I still can’t believe I called him first. He came right home though and I was so glad.
The rest of the day was spent talking to police and determining what was stolen from our home; TV, laptop, cameras. All of the usual stuff. We were shocked.
I was terrified.
It has been 10 days and in this time I have gone through a range of emotions, dealt with the appearance and healing of 3 different stress-induced cold sores, and as a result of not sleeping well came down with a cold. I find myself not wanting to leave. Not wanting to check the mail. Not wanting to stop looking out the window for clues. This is fear, I keep thinking. This is how people live. It breaks my heart.
I began thinking of people around the world who face acts of terror on a regular basis with far more devastating results. I wonder how women who have been raped or even mugged on the street can carry on. I wait for this feeling to go away. This violation.
Since the burglary, our local police department has recovered most of our stolen items and arrested the criminals. Kids.
KIDS…..who have never had jobs and will likely be in this cycle of crime until they stay in jail or worse. It breaks my heart.
We are so very fortunate to have the things we have and live in a home of safety and love. I wonder if these kids saw our family pictures or Oscar’s art that we saved on the fridge. I wonder if it made them sad. Or angry?
Among the items they stole were half a bag of frozen burritos and a box of chicken nuggets. It breaks my heart.
On the one hand, you want to think OH good, it’s just kids being kids. But at the same time, I want them to know that they don’t have to do this. They don’t have to have this life. We don’t care about the cameras or the burritos. We care about our family and thankfully, we are safe. We have each other.
They are alone.
And it breaks my heart.