One year ago today, as of this minute, I was well on my way to becoming a mama to the most amazing child. I know every child is the most amazing child to their parents. So on his birthday, please allow me to refer to MY child as THE MOST AMAZINGEST OF ALL CHILDREN EVER.(I realize that his actual birthday is tomorrow but as of this hour, one year ago I was in HARD labor so it totally counts!)
One year ago today was one week before Oscar’s due date. I was positive that he would be late and I would be faced with deciding whether or not to be induced. It was my biggest fear. I had no worries about a c-section because I knew I could work through any struggles I would be faced with and maybe I would get the epidural but only after I was dilated to at least 5 centimeters. I planned for everything. I still do. And things still go crazy and get off-track and I am forced to go with the flow. And it’s hard and beautiful. Oscar was born via c-section after 26 hours of labor which included 10 hours at home, and 3 hours of pushing. I will never forget that day. I would love to say it was the perfect birth and exactly what I wanted. But it wasn’t. And that is ok.
We don’t always get what we want. And sometimes what we want isn’t enough. It’s too small a thing for me to have been granted my perfect birth because I guarantee I would have taken credit for it. I would pat myself on the back for planning so well and being informed. I would be smug, arrogant and most likely judgmental. I know this about myself. I do it all the time. It’s not a pretty side of me and it was one that God decided did not need to be present at Oscar’s birth. I’ve talked about it many times here, but as I am remembering again now, a year later it’s ever so much clearer. This year has changed my life.
A marriage is a choice between two consenting adults. Birth is bringing a completely clueless human into your life and teaching them how you live it. It’s learning how to communicate with an infant and seeing through their responses the type of communicator you are. It is the ultimate mirror into your true self. It’s humbling to realize that many of the things you think have it goin on are just plain silly. A child crushes pride, selfishness, bitterness, image, and status, yet in those moments of realization the most beautiful transformations take place. Child learns to trust and parents learn to love unconditionally.
Oscar you have a gift. Your joy is contagious and your eyes can brighten anyone’s day. You have blessed our home and we will never be the same. It’s hard to believe you are turning 1 Year Old in just a few hours. We are so thankful for you and believe that there are great things in store for your life. We only pray that we can guide you in the right direction while we are entrusted with your care. We love you more than we ever thought possible. – Mama and Dada