I am about to be 32 and I think I have finally begun to accept the fact that I am indeed a woman. Of course physically, there was never a doubt (I hope!) but as a child I was a tomboy and though I have made some girl friends over the years, I definitely “got” the guys. And for many MANY years, I was just one of the guys. The tragic position of awesome to hang with but not hot enough to kiss. It was cool though, because guys were fun! And poop jokes never go out of style!
Of course now I am a mother and let me tell you, I have never felt so female. And I promise I am not using that as a dirty word. It’s just the best word I can think of. At first though, I felt vulnerable. These emotions, they made me feel weak. I am now more cautious than ever before. More domestic. More expressive. And I don’t know, isn’t that the cliche? Oh those emotional women and their women-stuff. Interesting.
And then I watched Changeling. And though it was about a missing boy and an axe-murderer, there were a few spectacular scenes thrown in highlighting the strength of women USING their emotion. And oh, it turned me upside down and inside out. I mean this movie was intense and I won’t go into it, but yeah. Emotions can be viewed as weakness, but they can be one’s greatest strength. Emotions give you muscles to do things you might never consider for the sake of your loved ones, or rightness. Boldness is not weakness. No, not at all.
And I find myself really starting to identify with women. Respecting each of you that I meet or talk to online for your life and your struggles, trying to keep my judgments at bay and enjoying the friendships that I have. I feel like I stumbled into Narnia. And I kinda love it.
Could someone pass me a Turkish Delight?