As I do at the start of each New Year, I am sitting at my kitchen table reflecting on the year that just passed. What did I do right? What can I do better? What did I DO?
Each year, I come up with a list of ways to improve myself in the new year. I’ll be in better shape, more organized, more present, more productive. More. More.
This year feels different, though. And I daresay it’s something of a Holy Grail for me. I feel almost…content.
It’s true that I am a total consumer. I love living and learning and trying new things. I love to dabble with hobbies and travel and eat new food. I love to LOVE. Being with my family and sharing things with them brings me immeasurable joy.
That’s why I love to share my favorite memories. It’s as much sharing as it is making sure I have a record of these smiles. This is the point. This is life.
The flip side of this is that I can be tempted to look to tomorrow too quickly and not appreciate today. This was especially true when my boys were babies. For various reasons, the baby stages were very hard for me, personally. I needed to get through them in one piece. I struggled a lot.
Yet, I don’t wish away these moments. As I watch my boys enter each new phase I am excited just like I was when I was single and visiting a new city or trying something new. I am excited about the future and I know it will come at just the right time for us. I know that there is nothing I need to do to better myself to enjoy these moments with the people I love most.
This is freedom.
In 2016, sure I would love to be thinner and more organized. I would love to have more balanced days and fewer minutes spent looking for lost toys. But these things are no longer tied to who I am as a person.
My identity does not reside between perfectly folded and stacked piles of laundry.
My New Year’s Resolution is not to be a better version of myself. It’s to own who I really am, know that it is enough and drown in gratitude for the people in my life who love me just the way I am.
And if that person happens to lose a few lbs along the way, I’m totally cool with that too.
Happy New Year, friends. I hope 2016 is your best year ever!